This is why I think I am more like the fox than the hedgehog mainly because I am guilty of “multitasking” and getting distracted with less important things pretty easily, instead of focusing on what I should be doing to work towards my PPNs and/or my DMP.
Doing the Paired Comparison does help, and I don’t think I am as bad as I was at the beginning of this MKMMA journey, but my old blue print seems to be holding me back in this area of my life.
I am wondering to if there’s some sort of level of fear of success that is play, maybe a White Personality Trait that if I can’t do it perfectly, why do it at all.
I had an aha moment about my stressing over completing my blog post. I haven’t missed a blog post or the posting deadline since starting my MKMMA blog. I find I’m stressing over it because of the fear of losing my posting streak. I feel responsible for taking care of it and I had this false belief that if I slipped on not doing something I am responsible for (even if I only slipped once) I would be branded unreliable.
I want to point out to that doing my blog is one of my most challenging tasks for me. I take hours to write a single blog post, not to mention that I’m a slow reader. Not only because I simply am not sure what to write about for the week but, I believe my stressing over it is a big contributing factor to my writers block these last few weeks. I believe this is one of my White Personality traits of trying to be perfect, failure is not a option.
I guess I just have to…
I found from my MKMMA experience that the “guilt thing” has really become less and less as time goes on. It is very freeing. You are doing the work, smile and be happy with your progress. Look at all the positives of what you have done and enjoy! Carol
A few weeks ago my youngest daughter had a birthday week where she was assigned a week to show the class her favorite things and bring in a few treats for the class. As part of her birthday week I was to write a letter about an event or something special that happened in her life. I had her older sister help me with this project and within 5 minutes she came up with half of the letter. I sent the kids to bed and was going to finish and polish this letter up. It took hours to write something, then rewrite it and the rewrite it again. How could this be?!! The kids have so much writing to do at school that it is just practice and skill comes with practice. And you are so right that when we agonize over it the longer it takes. I sure felt the pressure of the teacher reading my letter out loud and wondering what he thought of my grammar!
I try not to stress about writing my blog and simply write as if I were talking to my best friend. That helps to take off some of the pressure.